[ The Laymen’s Log ] September 29th, 2015

Today completes the fourth day now that I’ve staved off the need to play any more of The Phantom Pain. I’ll be honest, that game has left me in an emotional state that is similar to some of the characters and that’s probably what’s intended: to leave you feeling with a sense of loss and regret. I’m not one of those gamers on the boat of hating on the ending or whining about the cut content – that I was actually able to see, anyway, thanks to the wonders of the internet – but rather that, now that it’s complete, I can’t reverse the actions I’ve taken. It’s that sense of finality that really hit home with me and it’s almost as though I kind of wish it didn’t end the way that it did but I’m also glad that it did in a different sense – in that this game has made me feel things I don’t think many games have accomplished in doing. Silent Hill and Heavy Rain were good examples to this in that it gave a real sense of weight to your decisions and while, with other games, you could go back and play it through and see how it would play out differently, like in Mass Effect, for example, these decisions are woven into the story and are final and I’m just not comfortable with that. Not in the context of the game’s story, anyway. It might be a little while before I tackle the game again alone.

I had the first ever local Gamers of Windsor House Party event a few days ago and even though the turnout wasn’t exactly great – something that always happens when planning events on Facebook, of course – fun was had and it was a good time. Hopefully, it’s upwards and onward from there.

Since that party, though, it seems like I can’t really go back to The Phantom Pain, still. Thankfully, though, I did pick up a copy of vanilla Destiny recently at a local game shop nearby for relatively cheap and I’ve been giving it a sincere go since Rocket League has only really been good for a cheap thrill and I don’t know if I’m ready to go back to Final Fantasy XIV yet. If you’ve read my First Impressions Review of the game, while it was in beta I found the game to be kind of lacking, considering the hype that was built around it. Since then, I’ve repeatedly heard that the game has been developed and balanced so I thought I’d give it another shot, especially considering I was able to get the game for around twenty bucks. Destiny is one of those funny games that would never work as a single-player game as it reeks of the same kind of control and mechanics that Halo has – which makes sense, considering Bungie made both – and, once you kind of get a hang for how to progress quickly, it gets boring. As a multiplayer game, though, which serves as Destiny‘s main function, it would seem, is where it really shines, this time out. I played my first Strike mission today and I have to say the kind of tension you get from certain sections is practically unmatched in certain FPS games in this day and age. I was actually really pleased with the free roaming and teamwork aspect of it all and, so far, outside of the main PVP arena, it hasn’t disappointed yet.

I’ve honestly been hard pressed to write much about everything, though, hence this feature. It’s easy for me to write about current thoughts and so on and so forth but it feels as though I’m really losing my drive to do a lot, these days. As you could likely tell from my web links page, I put a lot of effort into a lot of what I do here under this branding and it just seems that it really hasn’t gained traction lately and it’s… disheartening. I gotta be honest. I’ve been doing this blog for over three years now, I’ve been writing freelance for longer, been doing that music thing since I was in high school, and everything else just comes with the territory. It’s not easy. I don’t have a cent spent here, everything is just hard work, elbow grease, love, and dedication. I know that in order to make it you either got to put something into it monetarily or be really lucky but… it just feels like I’m losing motivation. Hopefully, tackling articles and features that are smaller and easier and try to figure out why I started in the first place will help me with that.With that said, thank you to everyone that has been with me up to this point. I really appreciate it. You guys keep me going and when I see a new follower or a positive feedback of sorts it really makes my day, as few and far between as they are.

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